by Laura Bilotta
Sometimes we can get stuck in negative, repetitive dating patterns. We keep attracting the wrong people and continue getting our heart broken, but never take a second to turn inward and try to figure out what’s really going on and what needs to change with us. We often put the blame on others, but the answers are always within.
Ask yourself this very important question before you embark in the big sea of dating that awaits you: Would you date yourself?
Self-evaluation can be remarkably helpful to further improvement and understanding of ourselves and the way we approach relationships.
Asking if you would date yourself is one thing, but how about the following:
- Are you in a good place in your life? Do you have a job, have you let go of negative feelings you may have been harbouring from past relationships?
- Do you possess the qualities that you are looking for in a mate? Are you passionate, fun, kind, a good listener, honest, patient, easygoing, good at compromising?
- Are you open to love even if it does not fit the exact picture you have in your head?
- How long is your list of likes and dislikes? Is the list reasonable? It’s one thing to have standards but it’s another to be totally unrealistic.
- Are you superficial and obsessed with looks first and foremost? How do you think you're perceived by your dates? If you are not certain, ask a good friend who will be honest with you.
It is important to consider your own attitude towards your dates. It's easy to judge others when you are on the other side of the table, but what about you? How would you feel if the roles were reversed? If the roles were reversed and you put yourself in your date’s shoes, would you date yourself?
Asking yourself this very important question can help you to dig deeper, perhaps re-evaluate what is not working for you and cultivate a new and improved dating approach.
Laura Bilotta is a date coach, matchmaker and the founder of successful dating website Singleinthecity.ca. Laura established Single in the City in 2002. Since its early beginnings, Laura’s efforts and expertise have allowed Single in the City to become one of the largest event based dating companies in the Greater Toronto Area. Laura’s expert knowledge of dating etiquette, relationships, and human behaviour form the base of her experience. She has hosted over one-thousand speed dating/mixer events, coached more than one-hundred men and women into dating gurus, and she has proudly played matchmaker for countless love-seeking singles. Laura hosts her own Dating Talk show called Single in the City on Rogers Peel.