On being single for Valentine's Day


Why do we feel the need for love and compassion, especially around Valentine’s Day? It’s more likely that we feel more vulnerable around the holiday, especially if you’re single at this time of year. Winter generally brings out the worst in people. Moods are down, no one’s up beat. If you aren’t sure why you feel so out of it at this point, Certified Life Coach Practitioner, Lori Canale, gives us a good look as to why we tend to feel this way.

“The month of December can be a particularly difficult time of year for those struggling with feelings of loneliness induced by family conflict, loss of a loved one, break-ups or divorce,” Canale said. “I have had many clients both men and women state that they feel especially lonely during the holiday season and dread it more than any other time of year.”
According to the expert, watching friends, family or even strangers for that matter happily connecting to those they love can ignite feelings of emotional isolation and serve as a painful reminder of the happiness and love that’s lacking in our own lives.

 “On most days, you feel totally fine and go about your day as you normally would by keeping yourself busy with work, going to the gym, going out for coffee or dinner with a friend and the fact that you may not be in a romantic relationship at the moment may not be your primary focus.” Canale said.

The holiday of love often causes people to get overwhelmed and upset once they are actually alone and not surrounded by people or keeping busy.
Valentine’s Day is designed for businesses and to almost force our society to believe this is the one day to express love. 
“Personally, I’m not a fan of the holiday even as a happily married woman,” Canale said. “Regardless if you are single or not, the strength of a relationship should not be measured by the level of effort put into the celebration of one commercial holiday.

According to CNN, Valentine’s Day sales will reach an excess of over eighteen billion this year, so Canale advises that you don’t indulge in destructive thoughts about being alone or listen to the critical inner voices in your head. “Maybe you want to find love. Maybe you’re enjoying being single and just looking. In either case, no one day of the year defines your worthiness as a person or your status in relation to love.” she said.
With that being said, society also puts a lot of pressure on relationships in general. From families to friends to the things we post on social media, it seems as though being in a relationship has become the new norm. 

“What I stress to my clients is that whether you are currently in a relationship or have just come out of one, a relationship should never be dictated by a feeling of inadequacy. You cannot be with someone just because you're desperate to be in a relationship or are afraid to be alone. If you're single, there's a reason for it.”

Although it’s easier said than done, if you are single this Valentine’s Day, try to distract yourself. Surround yourself with positive energy, a.k.a all of your favourite people. Throw on a movie, order a ton of food, and call it a night!
And if you’re still bummed out about not having a Valentine just take a breather. Nothing good in this world comes easy. So instead of looking for love this Valentine’s Day, let love come to you. You deserve it!